Sentence Correction

As contrasted with the sharpnose sevengill shark, the broadnose sevengill shark makes its home in shallow waters, and its body is covered by black and white spots.


(A) As contrasted with the sharpnose sevengill shark

(B) In contrast to the sharpnose sevengill shark's

(C) Unlike the home of the sharpnose sevengill shark your answer

(D) Unlike the sharpnose sevengill shark

(E) Unlike those of the sharpnose sevengill shark

The answer to this question is D but in Knewton I have been learning about a comma hug or removing the fluff. When there is a clause blanketed by commas you can just remove it. " Unlike the sharpnose sevengill shark, the broadnose sevengill shark makes its home in shallow waters, and its body is covered by black and white spots. " I remove the part about the broadnose sevengill shark and then I get: Unlike the sharpnose sevengill shark... and its body is covered by black and white spots. This makes no sense to me at all, am I applying the rule correctly.

Also my second question is

First performed in 1879, the composer and writer of The Pirates of Penzance were Sir Arthur Sullivan and William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre.


A) First performed in 1879, the composer and writer of The Pirates of Penzance were Sir Arthur Sullivan and William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre.

B) First performed in 1879, Sir Arthur Sullivan and William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre, were the composer and writer of The Pirates of Penzance.

C) First performed in 1879, The Pirates of Penzance was written by William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre, and composed by Sir Arthur Sullivan.

D) The Pirates of Penzance was composed and written by Sir Arthur Sullivan and William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theater, and was first performed in 1879.

E) The composer and writer being Sir Arthur Sullivan and William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theater, The Pirates of Penzance was first performed in 1879.

The answer to this question is C but that does not make any sense to me. The reason being is that there is a comma before the word "and" so that means "composed by Sir Arthur Sullivan" is an independent clause which I don't think it is. Also for answer choice C it states that Gilbert writes and Sullivan composes but there is no indication of who does what in the original sentence, since there is no indication aren't you changing the meaning of the sentence?

Thanks so much in advance!

In the first question, you can remove the phrase bracketed by commas only if it is a modifying phrase. In this case, it includes the subject (broadnose sevengill shark) and the verb (makes) of the sentence, so removing it leaves you with a fragment.

The second question is a great example of where "removing the fluff" (or "slashing and burning" as we at Veritas call it) works really well. In Choice C, "who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre" is a modifying phrase describing William Gilbert. This means we can safely disregard it. The sentence now reads:

First performed in 1879, The Pirates of Penzance was written by William Gilbert and composed by Sir Arthur Sullivan.

This is an effective sentence.

As for who had which role, the original uses the singular form for both "composer" and "writer," so we can safely guess that each person did one of the roles. It would also be a safe bet that Sullivan was the composer and Gilbert the writer based on the order of the roles and the names, although it would be much clearer if they had included "respectively" after "Gilbert."

Bill

Thanks Bill this was very helpful!

I just have one more question with regards to this sentence "First performed in 1879, The Pirates of Penzance was written by William Gilbert, who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre, and composed by Sir Arthur Sullivan." Although you are slashing and burning "who had made his career in law before becoming involved in theatre" there is still a comma before "and". I have been learning that if you see a comma and a conjunction, in this case it is the comma and the word "and", it means that there is 2 independent clauses being separated. I do not see 2 independent clauses in this answer choice yet the answer is still correct, did I misunderstand what the comma conjunction rule is? Thanks again!

As a general rule, that's true, but in this context "and" is being used to link the two names. When we slash and burn the modifying phrase, we remove the commas as well since they are essentially part of that phrase.

This sentence contrasts the sharpnose sevengill shark and the broadnose sevengill shark. This is a logical and grammatically correct comparison, since these two items are similar enough to be contrasted directly and are expressed in parallel grammatical form. However, the phrasing of the introduction to this comparison, as contrasted with, is idiomatically incorrect.

Choices B, C, D, and E each change as contrasted with to an idiomatically correct introduction. However, choices B, C, and E create illogical comparisons. Neither the sharpnose sevengill shark's (choice B), the home of the sharpnose sevengill shark (choice C), or those of the sharpnose sevengill shark (choice E) can be logically compared with the broadnose sevengill shark. Indeed, we don't even know to what the possessive shark's and the pronoun those refer.

Choice D logically contrasts the sharpnose sevengill shark with the broadnose sevengill shark and uses the idiomatically correct word unlike to introduce the contrast.

Choice D is correct.