GMAT Essays (AWA)

Hello,

I was wondering if you can please rate this essay? This is from the GMAC practice CAT's. Thanks a lot for your valuable time and help.

Best Regards,
Sri

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The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles.

In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.


Question

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underline the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate in conclusion.


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The author of this magazine article is mentioning that as such people nowadays are not much concerned about how much of red meat and fatty cheeses they consume. To support his opinion, he gives 2 main examples. One of a store that was selling organic produce in 1960's but now also sells fatty cheeses and the other of a recent restaurant whose owners have become millionaires selling beef.

Though the author offers some good examples it is also possible that some of these foods especially fatty cheeses might also be good for the health if taken in moderation. Since there are both good fats and bad fats, it is quite possible that some of these cheeses might have good fats which might not be so bad if taken in small quantities. Besides since dairy products like cheese have a lot of Calcium and Vitamin D, one of the reasons why Heart's Delight might be selling them now is so that people can also get Calcium and Vitamin D along with the fiber in fruit's, vegetables and whole-grain flour. In-fact even doctors nowadays recommend dairy products like cheese espcially for growing children. Hence, Heart's Delight must have started selling fatty cheeses also so that people get a balanced diet of all essential nutrients. Hence, the author cannot just come to the conclusion that people are not regulating their intake of fruits and vegetable just because they also buy cheeses at Heart's Delight.

With the House of Beef example though the author has a bit more of stronger evidence since beef consumption in excess is generally not good. However, it is quite possible that House of Beef might be selling beef for large parties, events and also to other restaurants. This might explain why the owners are millionaires. It is also quite possible that people might be consuming beef in large quantities at House of Beef which explains why House of Beef is doing so well. However, since the author has not given more details it is hard to come to a solid conclusion that people are consuming more red meat just because House of Beef is doing well.

The fact that old vegetarian restaurant is still making a modest living might mean that their customer strength has more or less still been the same. This could be because they have not added new vegetarian items on the menu and also lot more vegetarian restaurants and vegetarian food chains could have sprung up.

Once of the weaknesses here is that the author is just giving 3 examples. As described above, these could mean a lot of different things.
The fact that the author is using these specific examples to make a general conclusion indicates a flaw in his reasoning.
If the author chose not to making a sweeping claim about people not regulating their intake then his argument might hold more strength.

The author can further strengthen his conclusion by including a much larger sample size or by presenting the results of restaurant surveys or medical research that show that the consumption of red meat and fatty cheeses have increased by which it can mean that people are not regulating their intake of these food anymore.

Brent@GMATPrepNow wrote:

gmattesttaker2 wrote:Hello,

I was wondering if you can please rate this essay? This is from the GMAC practice CAT's. Thanks a lot for your valuable time and help.

Best Regards,
Sri

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles.

In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.


Question

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underline the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate in conclusion.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The author of this magazine article is mentioning that as such people nowadays are not much concerned about how much of red meat and fatty cheeses they consume. To support his opinion, he gives 2 main examples. One of a store that was selling organic produce in 1960's but now also sells fatty cheeses and the other of a recent restaurant whose owners have become millionaires selling beef (be careful - the passage only says that the owners are millionaires. We don't know how they became millionairs).

Though the author offers some good examples it is also possible that some of these foods especially fatty cheeses might also be good for the health if taken in moderation. Since there are both good fats and bad fats, it is quite possible that some of these cheeses might have good fats which might not be so bad if taken in small quantities. Besides since dairy products like cheese have a lot of Calcium and Vitamin D, one of the reasons why Heart's Delight might be selling them now is so that people can also get Calcium and Vitamin D along with the fiber in fruit's, vegetables and whole-grain flour. In-fact even doctors nowadays recommend dairy products like cheese espcially for growing children. Hence, Heart's Delight must have started selling fatty cheeses also so that people get a balanced diet of all essential nutrients. Hence, the author cannot just come to the conclusion that people are not regulating their intake of fruits and vegetable just because they also buy cheeses at Heart's Delight.

With the House of Beef example though the author has a bit more of stronger evidence since beef consumption in excess is generally not good. However, it is quite possible that House of Beef might be selling beef for large parties, events and also to other restaurants. This might explain why the owners are millionaires. It is also quite possible that people might be consuming beef in large quantities at House of Beef which explains why House of Beef is doing so well. However, since the author has not given more details it is hard to come to a solid conclusion that people are consuming more red meat just because House of Beef is doing well.

The fact that old vegetarian restaurant is still making a modest living might mean that their customer strength has more or less still been the same. This could be because they have not added new vegetarian items on the menu and also lot more vegetarian restaurants and vegetarian food chains could have sprung up.

Once of the weaknesses here is that the author is just giving 3 examples. As described above, these could mean a lot of different things.
The fact that the author is using these specific examples to make a general conclusion indicates a flaw in his reasoning.
If the author chose not to making a sweeping claim about people not regulating their intake then his argument might hold more strength.

The author can further strengthen his conclusion by including a much larger sample size or by presenting the results of restaurant surveys or medical research that show that the consumption of red meat and fatty cheeses have increased by which it can mean that people are not regulating their intake of these food anymore.

Great organization. Okay writing.
Your points are not as strong as they could be. Check out some other essays on the same essay prompt.
I believe this would receive a 4 on test day.

Cheers,
Brent

Hello Brent,

Thank you very much for taking time to review my essay and for all your feedback.

Best Regards,
Sri