GMAT Essays (AWA)

"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound."

Response:

In the argument above the author claims that the increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is a result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of lack of government control over quality of food available at low prices, and that government is not taking appropriate measures to maintain nutrition level in food. Though this claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument based on questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author has to offer we cannot accept this argument as valid.

In the argument above the author claims that the increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is a result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of lack of government control over quality of food available at low prices, and that government is not taking appropriate measures to maintain nutrition level in food. Though this claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument based on questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author has to offer we cannot accept this argument as valid.

The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies in his premise. The author states that the government lacks control over the quality of food available at low prices and this is the main reason for the increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes, however he fails to present evidence that the government has good control over the quality of food at high prices. it may so happen that the reason for diabetes lies in the pricey food consumed as it lacks necessary nutrients. The author's premise, the basis for his argument lacks legitimate evidentiary proof, and renders his conclusion unacceptable.

In addition, the author makes assumptions that remain unproven. The author assumes that only food at low prices lack nutrients and is consumed at a higher rate. This assumption is unsupported, as the author provides no evidence to prove it. The pricey food products may be consumed at a greater rate than the low priced food products. The author does not justify his assumption that pricey food products have ample nutrients and would not be the cause for diabetes.

The author can strengthen his argument if he provides data which shows that the government has complete control over the quality of pricey food products. He can further strengthen his assumption by providing, research data on vitamin and nutrient levels of low and high priced food products as material evidence to validate his assumption and a statistical chart which shows the quantity of low and high priced food consumed.

In sum, the author's illogical argument is based on unproven premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. If the author intends to change his readers' minds he will have to highly restructure his argument, clearly explicate his assumptions, correct the flaws in his logic and provide evidentiary proof to support his claims.