GMAT Essays (AWA)

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Sri


Prompt:

Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers - some say because its products lack the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track.


Response:
In this argument the author is saying that Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years and that although one foreign company has copied the design of motorcycle X and is also selling it for less, customers of motorcycle X are still not buying this copy of motorcycle X. Some people think that this could be because the copy lacks the exceptional loud noise made by motorcycle X. However, the author is saying that there must be some other reason why customers of motorcycle X are not buying the copy.

The author compares the copy of motorcycle X to foreign cars that are quieter than American-made cars and which sell at least as well. However, in this the author is overlooking the fact that cars are a lot different than motorcycles. Cars and motorcycles typically have different type of customers. Quieter Cars are usually preferred by people who drive cars but loud motorcycles are usually preferred by motorcyclists. So by stating that foreign cars are preferred since they are quieter than American-made cars, the author is actually weaking his argument! This means that the copy of motorcycle X is not selling well since it lacks the exceptionally loud noise of motorcycle X which is what motorcyclists want.

The second fact that that the author presents in support of his argument that customers of motorcycle X are not buying motorcycle X for its loud noise is that the television advertisements of motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleekness and not its noiseness. However, the author is overlooking the fact that televison advertisements are viewed at home by everyone and not just by motorcyclists in general and customers of motorcycle X in particular. Since motorcyclists usually buy a motorcycle for it's noise, they will be as such aware of the exceptionally loud noise of motorcycle X. Besides by highlighting the durability and sleekness of motorcycle X, first time buyers of motorcycle X are drawn to the design in-addition to the loud noise of motorcycle X. Also, since a vast majority of television viewers might not be motorcyclists it is quite possible that the manufacturers of motorcycle X don't want to annoy these viewers by advertisements with loud noise which is why the ads might have voice-overs or rock music. In-fact, because of this slick advertising coupled with the loud noise, the manufacturers of motorcycle X might actually be getting more first time customers.

The author can strengthen his argument by quoting surveys or studies that show that people are buying motorcycle X not for it's loud noise but for its design and durability. This will greatly strengthen his argument. Also, if the author can give further evidence of how motorcylists these days are not if favour of loud noise, this can also greatly strengthen his claim that there must be some other reason why customers of motorcycle X are not buying the copy.